Grief — Friend or Foe

Lynne Pike
3 days ago
3 min read

Updated: 1 hour ago

What happens to all the grief that we carry after a traumatic, deep, or sudden loss?

I can't help but wonder... is there an antidote to grief?

After mom died, I felt the loss of a deep presence and was reminded of the time that I miscarried.

Those losses, for some reason, felt similar inside my bones.

"The pain of loss," they say.

But it was more of an ache, than a pain.

Those losses.

One of which was sudden, where I was never able to meet my baby. And the other was quite long and drawn out with my favorite person. And yet those losses reminisced each other.

That ache.

Fortunately after my miscarriage, I had a very healthy pregnancy, labor and delivery, and brand new baby to love on.

After I lost my mother however, the ache sort of lingered.

Like a thick fog.

My sadness continued to ebb and flow—but that ache hung around, lingering in the afterthoughts, the smiles, the jokes, the tears, and the laughter...

That is, until we got a brand new baby puppy.

Which made me wonder—is there an antidote to grief?

Grief doesn't just magically go away.

It does not disappear.

It is certainly not possible to "get over it."

Grief changes and transforms, and comes and goes.

But something magical happened to me the other day... when I noticed that the ache felt different.

And I began to realize that the recovery of my miscarriage had a lot to do with being able to pour love onto a brand new healthy baby...

But what changed in my life since mom passed?

We got a new puppy!

I fell in love with her immediately.

And in the time that has since transpired,

my love for her has grown beyond something I can put into words.

The unconditional love you carry for a sweet baby puppy... a tiny newborn... a grandchild.

These beautiful entities feel like medicine in response to the tragedy of loss.

They are (at least for me) a kind of antidote to deep grief.

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My first thought was, my grief was releasing because time had passed.

And because I was getting up for daily 6 AM puppy walks... seeing the sunrise each morning; following a routine; keeping to the schedule... as I cared for a new puppy.

And this consistent puppy routine has done wonders!

Helping to regulate my digestion, hunger levels, hormones, energy, elimination...

But my grief...?

Routines (and taking action) are wonderfully regulating for your whole body and your mind, including grief.

But that ache... that deep lingering ache...

What I found was, this part of my grief was specifically nurtured and softened by pouring unconditional love onto a brand new being.

Her sweet puppy breath.

Her joyful kisses.

The way she looks with her big eyes.

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