Grief, Gratitude, + Ayurveda
- Lynne Pike
- Nov 25
- 3 min read
Thank goodness for gratitude
Seasons of Transformation
Early this fall, my mother passed.
She was older and had been living with diagnosed dementia for over 15 years.
Even though mom was losing herself slowly, and constantly losing the ability to communicate and understand the reality around her, I never really felt ready to let her go.
To let her slip away.
Mom Transformed Me
I guess you're never really ready to lose the ones you love, until it happens.
I was the first to receive the news that mom had passed.
I'll never forget that call.
The nurse just said, "I'm so sorry but your mother passed away peacefully this morning."
It's hard for me to remember what came next.
I do remember falling to the floor with a gut wrenching sound emanating from my insides—bellowing, screaming, crying all at once. Revealing the ache and the crater that was left behind.
It felt like the earth had shattered.
The poor nurse kept repeating over my voice, "I am so sorry for your loss."
I wasn't able to speak.
My phone lay on the floor, with me next to it.
A periodic, "I'm so sorry for your loss" would emanate through a muffled phone line.
Finally the nurse said something like, "I'm going to go now, I'm so sorry" and must have hung up because I no longer heard the rhythmic "I'm so sorry for your loss" anymore.
My son was the first to reach me.
He fell to the floor beside me, put his hand on my shoulder, and sat with me before running for my husband.
Somehow I ended up in the kitchen, husband holding me tight.
My legs didn't know how to hold me anymore.
My children appeared and we were a puddle of hugs.
I wailed in their arms until I was worn out.
I'm not sure how much time had passed before I realized that my eyes were swollen shut and I'd lost my voice.
Husband and I had to go claim mom's body.
We were the first to arrive and see her sweet peaceful face.
I will never forget that final precious time with her, as I wept by her side, burning that sacred moment into memory.
The Transformative Power of Grief + Gratitude
Losing mom has transformed the way that I see grief as well as gratitude.
Grief and gratitude are so close together.
I am so grateful that my mom, was my mom.
I am so grateful that she loved me, raised me, and laughed with me.
And I am so grateful that all three of my children continuously pour their love onto me.
My eldest called me immediately and flew home.
My second was the first to find me, and I'll never forget his loving hand on my shoulder.
My youngest made me a love bracelet that I wear every day. When I look at it, I can feel my her hugs.
I am so lucky to be loved by so many.
The Wisdom of Ayurveda
And what does Ayurveda say in times of grief?
Go slow
Eat warm, watery, comforting food
Grounding practices
Honor emotions, feelings, and state of mind
Create a space for quiet reflection
Soothing colors
Soothing smells
Soft, soothing music
Gentle time in Nature... breathe in fresh air each day
Connect with community that loves you
May you find gratitude in all that you are, in all that you do, and in all that you see, become, and cherish.
May you be surrounded by the peace of solace, joy, comfort, and love.
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